Monday, May 25, 2015
WOW, another week come and gone. I think this was the fastest of them all so far. This week was great and we had a lot of neat experiences. We saw miracles and had a lot of fun. On Wednesday I believe it was, we were on our way to a lesson and jumped on a bus. Then all of the sudden a huge branch from a tree (practically half of the tree) crashed down in the road right in front of us. The Driver slammed on his breaks and we were all ok but a little shocked for a second. My companion and I just looked at each other and immediately I said a prayer of thanks in my heart. If we would have been even 10 feet further it would have come down on the bus and who knows what would have happened. It was one of those moments when there is absolutely no way anyone can tell me it wasn`t the Lord`s protective hand. We also happened to be the only ones on the bus besides the driver and his assistant person and if we hadn`t have stopped the bus for 5 seconds to get on it they probably would have been right in the exact spot where the tree fell. You are so welcome MR. Bus driver. That`s the blessing of driving missionaries I guess. :) So we jumped off the bus and helped (along with a bunch of other people) move the tree off to the side of the road so cars could pass. So crazy. Got to love those emergency service projects. :)
This week I was reading a talk called ¨Becoming a Consecrated Missionary¨ by Tad R. Callister and it was sooooo good. It really helped me to refocus and think on how I’m doing as a missionary and if I`m really giving my all. It was super awesome but then as the week went on and I was concentrating more and more on what else I needed to improve on and all my weaknesses I started to get pretty frustrated and down on myself. I feel like the mission is really good at showing us all our faults and weaknesses and putting them right up in front of our faces. It`s really hard sometimes because I just want to be the best missionary I can and I want to be it now. But I know that`s not how it works. I talked to my companion about it and she gave me a lot of good advice and then I decided to start reading in the New Testament this week as well. The past few days I`ve been studying the Sermon on the Mount and I really came to realize that what the Lord really is concerned about is our hearts. It`s the true desires of our hearts that he wants and not a perfect robot. I realized that I was focusing so much on all the little things that I needed to improve on that I was missing the whole point. What really matters is that I love the Lord so much and am trying to do my best to serve him and his children. Truly loving the people I teach, not getting frustrated that the lesson didn`t go as well as we`d planned. Loving my companion, not getting caught up in the things she does that I don`t love. Loving the Lord, not fearing that because I`m not perfect he doesn`t accept my work and offering.
As I really tried to refocus my thoughts and intentions I`ve made a full 180 degree turn. My faults haven`t changed, I still have so much to improve on, I`m still not a perfect missionary. But I`m happy, I have hope, I find joy in my service. I feel like Nephi when he said "Oh wretched man that I am" when he laments about his weaknesses and shortcomings, yet in the end states, "Nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted." I too know in whom I have trusted and I know that He won`t fail me. The Lord calls us in our imperfections and qualifies us for the work. The only perfect person ever to live on the earth was Jesus Christ, I`m pretty sure the Lord is pretty used to working with imperfect mortals by now. :)
Then yesterday we had a special devotional for all the recent converts in our ward and the theme was the Atonement. It was so powerful and our Mission President came to speak and really taught us a lot. He called on me up to bear my testimony of the Atonement and it was so neat to see and feel that even though I still don`t understand it perfectly, because of my experiences this week I was able to testify of God`s love and the hope the Atonement and Christ bring into our lives. My companion and I also sang a duet of "Come thou Fount" as a special musical number (Yes, I did that. So scary.) What powerful words! "Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it. Prone to leave the God I love. Here`s my heart. Oh, take and seal it. Seal it for thy courts above."
I know my Savior lives and that he loves me. He sacrificed his life for every one of us so that we could have the "hope for a better world and a place at the right hand of God". I`m not perfect. I won`t be a perfect missionary. I won`t be a perfect friend, daughter, or sister. But I can be perfect in one thing, and that`s my love for the Savior and my desire to serve Him. That`s all he asks, that`s all He wants from us, and it`s what I`m willing to give. I`m learning so much and loving my mission more every day. The miracles are real and the hand of the Lord is in the work. What an honor to be able to work along side Him in his work and glory every day. It`s a joy I can`t express with words.
Thank you for all the love and support. I feel the prayers and blessing coming in every day. I love you all so much. Enjoy your week and remember the love our Savior has for each one of you. Think of where your heart is now and how you can center it more on Him. :)
Love you all! Buena Semana!